Examine intent. If you’ve been inconvenienced or offended, ask if that was really the intent of the other person (especially a spouse or partner). In most cases, it probably was not, and the hurt was accidental. Differentiate that intent so that you have the correct response.
Mindset: There is often no doubt that you were treated poorly, but there can often be doubt as to whether it was malicious or coincidental. Don’t always assume the former.